“The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor. No matter how hard it seems, the longer you persist, the more likely your success”
-Jack Canfield, author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series (sold over 500 million copies)
If I could teach you one learnable skill that will help you get what you want in your career and life, would it be worth spending some time on?
And what if this skill helps you make an extra $300, $700, even a $1,000?
Besides the monetary gain, what if this skill can give you a better life with:
- less hassle
- more choices
- and more time
I would run across a busy street blind folded to learn this skill as fast as I could.
Several years ago, I came across a guy that owned a successful nutrition based business. I asked him for some advice and was curious what his secret to success was.
The thing he told me still sticks in my mind and it’s one of the mental frameworks I contribute to all of my successes.
I say this mantra in my head when I get stuck or hit a wall with my engineering client sales.
“Go for no”, he told me.
“Go for no, the more no’s you get, the closer you get to yes.”
“Sales is a numbers games”.
“The difference between successful people and your friends that work at Chick Fil-A is that the successful people have heard more no’s than the chicken staff.”
This was some game-changing advice for me. I took that and ran with it. Now I use this framework with everything I do.
People ask me all the time now, “how’d you do it?”, and I say the same thing.
I’ve just asked more people. I’ve been rejected more times. I’m not afraid of hearing no.
And I understand that eventually someone will say yes to me and I’ll get what I want.
I must persist.
If it takes me asking 4 people to hire me before one says yes, guess how many people I’m going to ask?
That was the one major roadblock standing between me and my client success. And everybody I know that’s successful in anything understands this principle.
Everyone loves the sound of the word YES… it’s so positive, so empowering. And then there’s “NO!
For most people, NO is just the opposite: negative… draining….embarrassing.
What if you could hit every income goal….land every dream gig … and reach every personal dream… simply by changing the way you think, feel, and respond to hearing the word NO?
Well, you can.
And not only will it help your career, but also in your everyday life.
I’ve used this mental framework to:
- negotiate on car prices and save thousands.
- asked retailers for discounts on audio gear, saving thousands.
- get free shots of espresso at coffee bars
- get free airline tickets
- get dates with hot chicks:)
- get raises at jobs
- command higher rates while freelancing
- get help and advice from VIP’s
- get icecream for breakfast even though my mom didn’t want to do it!
When you were a little kid you were not afraid of hearing the word no. Kids are REALLY good at negotiating.
We would kick, cry and moan, until we got that toy or that candy bar we wanted.
But as we get older, we’ve heard the word no so many times, it pulls us down, becomes a nuisance, and we don’t even try to ask for things any more. We FEAR failure. We just want to cruise by life withought hearing that awful 2 letter word.
Then we hit that wall. We get stuck. We stop trying. We are invisible. The consequence of this complacency ruins many a great men and woman.
We must re-adopt the child’s mindset we once had and not fear the no.
Just remember this one thing, successful people have heard more no’s than most people. They are just as normal as we are but the only thing that makes them special is they’ve persisted just enough past us to get a few more NO’s to get to that Yes!
What if it only took 10 job interviews to land that dream job of yours that would’ve changed your life in a positive way forever. And imagine you quit trying after the 8th interview. You were only 2 steps away.
You hear this all time.
- Persistence is key.
- Patience is a virtue.
But if you remember only one thing:
Go for No!
The relationship you have with the word NO… what you think and feel when you hear it, and what you do afterward as a result… is THE single most important factor in determining the level of success you will achieve in your life.
That’s why despite having a great product, service or opportunity to offer, so many people fail to succeed in business… and in life.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. A simple change in attitude and perspective could transform you from someone who is slowed down by failure and rejection into someone who is actually energized by it.
You can build a better future for yourself. One step at a time. It hurts to fail. But the simple truth is, you deserve more out of life. It’s worth it to get what you want. To have more. To live a life with peace of mind knowing that you can hit your goals every time. You are in control.
Believe in Better.
Years ago, when I was starting out my career in audio I was basically living on a couch at my uncle’s house in LA. I was trying to find work but having no success. Fresh out of school, with no experience, life sucked.
I was working 2 day-jobs at Disneyland as a stock merchandiser and doing sales at the Marriott.
My buddy Chino in Chicago had landed an assistant position at this studio working with some big major label artists and he said they needed some unpaid-interns. I did what any normal person would do and I applied and sent over my resume.
The manager called me, and said he liked Chino, and my resume looked good, and he wanted me to come out to Chicago and start working.
I WAS HIGH AS A KITE!
I packed up all of my shit in California and said bye Felicia.
I moved to Chicago!
But when I finally settled in to my new home a few weeks later and called the manager back, he said I didn’t make it in time and they had hired somebody else.
WHAT THE FAAACK!
What was I supposed to do?
This was my chance to shine. I moved across the country for this gig.
I’m SOOOOO FACKED right now…
I remembered that guy and his success advice…
GO FOR NO … he told me.
So I called the manager back, and called back, and called back, and sent an email, then called back.
I kept on asking if he was hiring yet, and asking to meet up for a face to face interview.
Day after day I heard no.
And after a few weeks of rejection…..
WTF, I thought to myself. This is insane. Someone had quit and I got in! If I would’ve called it quits and not called that 22nd time, I don’t think I would be where I am today.
That little unpaid internship, turned into a paying job and a world class audio apprenticeship that I use to get engineering clients today.
Go for NO!
So how do you adopt this mantra that top performers secretly know about into your own personal life?
First, remember this phrase: Go For No!
Second, get out of your comfort zone.
Third- Try this experiment:
Noah Kagan of appsumo had some cool advice on overcoming the fear of failure by going to coffee shops and asking for 10% discount off your coffee. The outcome does’nt matter. Just go ask for 10% off next time you get coffee or a drink somewhere.
The barista is gonna ask why. And you’ll have to respond. Your response doesn’t matter. This exercise is to build your confidence, fuck fear in the face, and CHANGE your mind and feelings about the word no.
See how many times and get rejected by asking somebody something. Track how many times they say no. And if they eventually say yes, how many no’s did it take to get to a yes.
I love watching movies, but my girlfriend doesn’t as much as I do. So I’m always asking her to go see sci-fi movies at the theatre with me and she says no about 5 times before I can get her to say yes. I always have to get creative in my approach with getting her to the movie, but I always succeed.
Use this newly found mindset to go pitch some clients your audio engineering service or go pitch companies you want to work for.
Don’t be afraid of no. No means you are closer to yes. You just have to persistand figure out how you can get to YES.
Get to work NOW. Nothing happens over night. Everything takes practice. If I can do this, you can do this. Just take baby steps each day and learn from every no you get in life. And DONT stop until you get a yes!
Watch this motivational youtube video to motivate you and overcome your fear of failure:
Here’s one more youtube video:
Here’s a really great and short read on the subject of going for no:
Here’s the first book a successful millionaire businessman recommended I read when I just graduated college that forever changed my mental framework and re-wired my brain for success:
Now get to work and do all the action steps. Leave a comment and share any success stories you have and what your biggest take away from all this is.